A brave new religion for a brave new world
I propose a FANTASTIC NEW RELIGION...
The CHURCH OF DIGRESSION
Existing religious institutions are able to grant instant INNER PEACE to their converts. They use their AUTHORITY and CRED to provide quick and easy answers to the most unsettling human questions. While this method is effective enough, I tell you this is a cheap and nasty way about doing things, no class at all!
Radically, the CHURCH OF DIGRESSION and its followers achieve INNER PEACE, the RIGHT WAY, by adhering to a belief system of not actually knowing the answers to the following sorts of questions:
- what happens to you (as in your consciousness) when you die?
- Why are you here in this Universe?
- Is reality an illusion?
- What does the future hold?
Not one living person knows!!! However, the mere act of constantly pondering these conundra will IMPROVE YOUR LIFE AT LEAST 300%. With your mind tied up in these important questions, your more mundane worries will pale in comparison - problems or issues that once would have consumed your LIMITED TIME are no longer relevant!
- Learn to GO WITH THE FLOW!
- Dissolve your stress!
- Become open to the marvels of the Universe!
- Accept your mortality and you will NEVER FEAR DEATH AGAIN!
You may never find the answers you seek. In fact, you can't, you won't, and you probably shouldn't, as it is the SOOTHING WAVES OF THOUGHT that make your life better, not sticking with what can at most be partially satisfactory answers found on the internet or in a traditional church or cult.
Join now, for a better existence!
Tristan Miller, Autonomous Digressor of the First Church of Digression
