Bert Newton's Eternal Doctrine of Now and Forever

(Extracted from http://wiki.mindcloud.org/wiki/Bert_Newton%27s_Eternal_Doctrine_of_Now_and_Forever ;-D)

Bert Newton's Eternal Doctrine is the prevailing political, economic and social doctrine of The Empire of Newton. This doctrine reflects the cultural outlook of the Bertronian Empire of the present, as well as the foreseeable future.

First section from the original handwritten Eternal Doctrine of Now and Forever. Said to be written in the blood of Bert Newton himself.

Contents

Origins

Nature of the Doctrine

The Eternal Doctrine of Now and Forever encompasses all aspects of the Bertronian civilizations political, social and economic life. It is totalitarian in the truest sense of the word. Bert Newton created the doctrine soon after he was ditched from Australia's Channel Nine and Bert's Family Feud. Newton vowed to never be cast out from the TV industry and into the Abyss of the real world ever again, so he decided to create a complete ideology way of life which would guarantee him a place in Australian television and a tyrannical legacy that could last until the end of time.

Political

The political aspect involves centring Bert at the middle of all political transactions and events. This involves a centralised one party state, in which there is a single, authoritarian and segregated political class known as the Inner Bert and Outer Bert. The Inner and Outer Bert's represent 2% and 16% of the population respectively.

The structure of the Inner Bert is reminiscent of a Monarchy, with Bert Newton himself at the head of the Monarchy, and various other Inner Bert member appointed as Ministers who lead most of the different departments of government. Due to the complexities involved in running a World Government over several billion individuals, about 80% of the decision making is in fact relegated to the Triumbertate.

The Triumbertate

The Triumbertate (originating in Latin, meaning "of three Bert's") are three supercomputers which cooperate to perform most of the high level decision making in the Bertonian society. The Triumbertate are three semi-biological computers, each consisting of a Quantum supercomputer integrated with a cloned brain on Bert Newton. They govern such things as the regulation of the market economy, local policing, surveillance mass transport, industry and resource allocation (comprising of Human and natural resources). The Triumbertate do not have any control over the central assets of the military; this is left to be controlled by the Innter Bert.

The human brains within the Triumvirate are genetically engineered so that the majority of the neurological components that would make up Bert Newton's personality are removed, and replaced with neurological configurations that enhance the super intellect of the natural Bert Newton brain. The Triumbertate do not have their own consciousness or personality, and are not an Artifical Intelligence. They are programmed though in such as to appear to be intelligent, conscious beings, of a similar nature to Emperor Bert himself. This is done for pragmatic reasons, such as fooling the Outer Bert's and the unBert's into thinking that Emperor Bert is in many places at many times and is directly controlling and ruling over the people. This creates a highly effective and automated Orwellian Big Brother presence for Bert Newton.

Social and Cultural Aspects

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