Economic Rationalism
Economic Rationalism abbrv E.R. is the theory that the economy is a rational being that will respond to (or at least be controlled by) Reason. Advocates of E.R. make clear this belief by using phrases such as, "We have the economy under control," or, "We have a strong economy". Being the dominant viewpoint of most western cultures, this main proponents of this theory are currently under scrupulous observation by members of Earth Government.
Economic Rationalism never fails. If Economic Rationalism ever fails then it is actually the fault of Supply-Side Economics. When something is the fault of supply-side economics then the economic model is not to blame, the people in it are (i.e. "If Medicare was really necessary people would PAY for it, LOL!). Claiming that something is the fault of supply-side economics is the major trump card of any conservative economic argument, as it effectively says the problems of the economy are the fault of the proles and that they should shut the f%$# up and get a job. Some hippies think otherwise, this is why they can't get jobs in Earth Government.
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History
The first Economic Rationalists were the ancient Romans who used supply and demand to forecast which plague-ridden city would be less rebellious without having a new public bath. Note the addition of publicly funded baths at this point shows that their understanding of Economic Rationalism was in its infancy.
Economic Irrationality
Critics of E.R. often claim that the economy is not a rational being. Some go as far to say the economy is not a living thing at all, rather it is a spurious concept upon which all too many important decisions are made, or past decisions justified.
The most popular criticism of E.R. is termed as Economic Irrationalism, or perhaps Economic Absurdity. This theory posits that the Economy is a real living being, but one whose actions (and reactions) can not and must not be treated as those of a rational being. For example, the phrase, "We have a strong economy," leaves out the hidden message, "Last week we raised interest rates by a fraction and the economy broke 3 banks, two currencies and destroyed a small nation in a fit of irrational anger." Outbursts such as these are characteristic of the economy and to label it a rational being is a highly suspect practice.
(Note: The obvious abbreviation for Economic Irrationalism, namely, E.I. is not used, as upon first mentioning to an Economic Irrationalist, their response was simply "... uhm... E I O? Is this a joke? I don't even HAVE a farm)
Physical Manifestations of the Economic Beast
Some claim to have seen E.R. in its bodily form. Accounts vary widely but tend to involve either politicians or socialists who own various forms of property. The legend of the physically manifest form of economic rationalism was first recorded by the observer Adam Smith who referred to it as the invisible hand
In popular culture the omniscience of the invisible hand has been interpreted as red, all-seeing eyes and few other distinctive qualities.
The invisibility of the beast's hands is a reference to the mythical tales of its method of killing. Upon meeting the beasts eyes the target is frozen with fear, at which point the beast attacks with an unseen dagger. This myth is thought to be based on finding children's corpses with stab wounds and frozen, emotionless faces in 19th century coal mines. The expression on their faces has been referred to as the "look of being fucked by the economy".
Other Economic Models
As any educated person knows there are two sides to every argument, no more, no less. Hence there are only two economic models known to man - E.R. and S.K.G.D.H.C.. Some observers such as Steven Jay Gould postulate that if we think about it really hard we can find some middle ground between nationalising private property and privatising the government, these people are wrong.
