Questions I pose to the French Revolution
Recently many neckbeard types have been adding references to the French Revolution to their irrelevant and sundry discussions. Usually this is done in the form of indicating that a certain forum or thread reminds them of the French Revolution. Though anecdotal analysis would have us believe that their reference was to ill-fated enhusiasm, doomed to end without the achievement of anything but pain, in reality I doubt their grip of understanding on the given situation is that strong.
Their callous reference to the only war in history the French won (being against the French, who incidentally, also lost) prompted me to do some research on the French Revolution. This resulted in me doing zero actual research on the French Revolution. My astounding skill in research has led me to these unanswered questions, based entirely on a single painting.
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Questions I pose to the French Revolution
Why do the French corpses lack pants?
Perhaps this young man was masturbating furiously when the revolution came a knocking? Perhaps he was getting jiggy with the young corpse to his right, whose fly is conspicuously undone. Could it be that the French often go to war with no pants on? Could this be part of some wider tactic to lighten their armour load and increase their ability to run across a battlefield? Could one's wang banging against one's own hips as one runs awaken one's inner caveman? It was certainly a liberating feeling for me when I first tried it
Why is the fat chick leading France to war?
This is quite puzzling, usually men are the most expendable members of any given society owing to fact that one man can have hundreds of children a year given enough of this and this, and slighty less of this. This could be due to high sodomy rates in France, making chicks more of an annoyance. In such a situation it is likely that only the fittest and hottest chicks will have a chances at bumping uglies with some dude. This gives us the opportunity to skim the fatties out of the gene pool by putting them in the front line of the war, as no one like fat chicks anyway. This could be one reason why French chicks today are generally considered hot, they are descended from only the hottest pre-revolution chicks.
Is a war really the appropriate place to stare at boobs?
As you can see there is a somewhat gender unspecific individual at the feet of the fat chick staring directly at her boobs. The individual makes no attempt to hide this and rather arches his/her back to get a better view. Could this heady mix of preoccupation with boobs and fat chicks on the front line have something to do with Frances crushing defeat after crushing defeat in all future wars, including the future wars.
Why is your leader wearing a Smurf hat?
I would find it hard to take such a leader seriously, and I believe the expectation this hat set upon the eve of revolution doomed the affair from day one. Though it's not the first time a leader with a funny hat has totally pwnzed France, or at least he would've totally got down with the French chicks, descended from long lines of only the hottest French chicks.
These are the questions I pose to the French Revolution.
