Speeling

Speeling, at the ground floor, is just incorrect spelling. However, free-falling from the restaurant on the fortieth floor affords a much more detailed understanding of the topic. Nanoseconds before hitting the pavement, full enlightenment is obtained; the whole history of language unfolds in a splash of blood, bones and rapidly failing orgFATAL ERROR - METAPHOR OVERFLOW

Proper uses of speeling

Speeling is a powerful literary technique. A literate person can use it to extract amusement at the expense of others.

• Ridiculing those who have no excuse to be illiterate
• Deliberate aggravation and synapse-destruction of assorted twegs
• Defacing a concept or an entire language (similar to pronouncing 'gourmet' as it appears)
• Building a confusing mess of linguistic specifics only those 'in the know' can understand
• Creating brand recognition so potent that the standard form of the words involved is shouted out of people's brains