Tristan Miller:Work In Progress 1

Arthur observed the crowd of mallgoers lining up for the soap star's autograph. A thought soon occurred to him: in this day and age, it would be easier just to send a letter to the network...nobody uses the postal system for that sort of thing anymore. The network would probably send back signed photos of every single cast member for free.

Upon returning home he dusted off his typewriter and composed a short message:

                                                    The Network
                                                    36-3n//12/0/14/n//16/4/14/14/0/2/4
                                                    1/4/q/8/6/16/14/11/10//15/0//240q
Arthur P_
3* B_ Rd
Sydenham, SA, 5951
  
Dear Sir or Madam,
    
    I have long been a fan of your network and its quality dramashows and tasteful
    advertisements. Would it be possible for you to send to me some memorabilia
    (photographs, posters, postcards, promotional pencilcases, perhaps) that has been
    autographed by the cast and crew of your successful late-afternoon soap? I will
    sell everything you send me on the interweb to the slavering hordes of zealous
    fanbots in England, and I can give you a ten percent cut of the proceeds. My phone
    number is attached, call if you are interested in this limited-time scam.
       
    Thank you for your continued committment to quality,
      
          A.P.
 

Ten seconds after Arthur posted the letter, the Network called.